The Beginning

I decided to start this blog today, at this very hour, sitting in this coffee shop at this specific table, drinking my over-sized iced green tea, 

because I am confused. 

I am lost right now.

Really lost right now.

Ideas and dreams tumbling around in my head with no outlet. Auto-wash mode.

And I need to let them out.

Desperately. Or I think I may just go crazy.

I graduate from college in 26 days.

May 18, 2013.

Graduating after an entire life knowing the next step, trusting my next move.

And now here I am,

Learning how to walk on my own again.

It's crazy to me how scary that first step can be. The letting go of old friends and old realities. Jumping into a new city knowing no one, 

trying to find any source of income (a JOB), 

carving out a life for myself that I am PROUD of, EXCITED about, PASSIONATE for.

Creating a world that I can go to bed each night loving, so excited for what is to come the next day.

At the start of this final school year in August I wrote a letter to myself that I want to share with you:

"This is dedicated to a life of excitement and adventure, embracing vitality and breathless moments and the feeling of invincibility you get when skinny-dipping in the ocean as the sun creeps up onto the horizon. This is dedicated to those unable to run and dance, those enslaved by perceptions of unworthiness and self-doubt. Raise your glass to fear and excitement, tears and joy gurgles, breaking borders and forging new paths. Let’s bring back the legacy of Louis and Clark and set out on our life journeys with open eyes and emblazoned walking sticks. Let’s not run from our fears, let’s meet them head on and carve out our own destinies from this thing called life. I want to sweat and scream and find energy from anticipation of the future. We live the life we expect, and I expect the best. What if each of us promised to meet each day with the same naked ambition of our youth when there was no such thing as impossible?"

I needed to remember that.

Sometimes (far too easily) I find myself paralyzed by fear.

Unable to act because I am so scared that I will choose the wrong path.

I want this blog to be a place where I can remind myself to live to the fullest, to engage with others who are struggling to continue discovering their own paths, to help each other make the most of our short time on this beautiful Earth.

I'm ready to begin!